Saturday, 29 February 2020

Anxiety Diary - Healing Habits


As a kid I had followed the below mentioned habits. When grew up and started working, habits were lost and replaced with comfort. 

When we are in 20's our body adapts to all the good and bad habits, it is reverse in 30's. What is taken care by nature in 20's does not exists any more in 30's. You put effort you will get output.

So after lot of hit and trial methods, I stood with the lifestyle followed as a kid which is as follows:

1. Get Up early in the morning before sunrise and your kids get up.
2. Go for a 20 min walk, at this time nature heals us.
3. Me time, spent time with yourself before starting or ending your day. Check with yourself are you fine, what you want to do, what makes you happy. 
4. Meet, talk with friends and relatives.
5. Spent time with kids, involve in their activities. 
6. Listen to others and share yours.
7. Always smile
9. Learn to say no.
10. Sit in sun everyday for 10 min.
11. Single task at a time
12. Prioritize your task
13. Think about the things you can control, don't think about uncontrollable things.
14. Work life balance, don't run in rat race.
15. Don't outsource your responsibilities 
16. Plan each day and week
17. Follow your hobby or make it part of your routine. It relaxes mind.
18. Be away from toxic people.
19. At least sleep for 8 hours.
20. Visit temple at least once in a week.
21. Exercise daily, it improves blood circulation.

To adapt each habit it took time, all of sudden I couldn't adapt. Slowly I adapted. So be gentle with yourself while adapting. 

Friday, 28 February 2020

Anxiety Diary - Effect on personal and professional life

After reading the formal introduction and after effect I came to know people confine themselves within room or house, fear to visit the place where they experienced the panic attack, give up social life.

Within the first week of the panic attack, rebellion inside me was not ready to confine myself within the house or room, give up my driving and hire a cab, give up job, give up going out and socializing. Don't know from where I got this power in very low phase of my life which merely allowed me to have proper breathing. All came at stake which makes a life.

When I went back to office, heard different version of my condition from colleagues. Somewhere was hurt but moved on because I had more important things to fix. Some of them came to collect data so that they can gossip for days.

Sometimes while having lunch in office my vision use to blur first and then breathing issue, i used to go back to my place take medicine and come back to continue my lunch. At the end of the day, I felt defeated. Next morning slowly I used to raise my spirit, lets search and try new method to fix it.

I forgot my career goals, competition with fellow colleagues. To continue doing job was the big question to me forget about career goals, growth, promotions. I kept going. 

I was not ready to conclude my professional life at the negative note, let it be low profile. nothing much happening but at least I am independent and it was giving me confidence and power.

I pushed myself everyday as a mother and professional. Kids are so young to understand my medical condition, their expectations are genuine and valid. And to fulfill is my responsibility.

I slowed down in every aspect, there is nothing wrong in doing this if it helps you to revive yourself.

And all through these phases no one was their to share because I appeared fit and fine to them. New to the people around me.

How much I should give up to face or fix this? I hit the zero ground to fix it. But learnt to fix and the ways which I never believed worked like charm.

Anxiety Diary - Healing

After six months, I was able to identify the problem. Problem was, i was leaving with problems without fixing it. I was so used to the conditions that it didn't appeared to me as problems.

It can come from personal or professional life, don't leave it unresolved for long time. First think how it can be fixed then put efforts to fix it.

Take your own time, need not to rush. If you face failures it is absolutely fine, get up again and try to fix it. No one can fix it except you. Doesn't matter how much you are fed up with trying, don't stop putting effort till it is fixed. Every input should have a visible output.

Attacks does not come all off sudden, it is within us for months or years, shows symptoms as well.
Due to less awareness and sharing on this topics people does not come to know that they are already  a anxiety patient and going to face a panic attack.

Factors contributing to it:
1. Long running personal and professional issues, without a fix.
2. Lifestyle with no proper balanced routine
3. Living in virtual world
4. No or very less connection with family, friends and relatives
5. No physical activity
6. Materialistic life
7. Overthinking about past and future
8. Unbalanced diet
9. Relationship failures

Symptoms of panic attack (listing the symptoms in order it occurs):
1. Constipation for days
2. Head will be heavy or painful
3. Dry mouth (after this within half an hour or 45 min panic attack will come in full swing doesn't matter how much you drink water dryness will not go)
3. Blur vision
4. Cold hand and feet
5. Confused mindset
6. Breathlessness (It feels like you are not going to have next breathe)
7. Numbness in hands, shoulder, neck, face

Attacks may last for 30-60 min. But good thing is after above mentioned points you will be able to breathe after some minutes. So what to do within this waiting period is as follows:

1. Start walking don't be stationary.
2. Drink lot of water, may be 1-1.5 liter within minutes. It relax the tensed nerves. Always carry filled water bottle.
3. Divert your thinking from the attack, think something good.
4. Practice Shashankasana, learn it before hand. When required practice it.
5. Carry your medicine always with you, if required take the pills.
6. Consult psychiatric, they are the specialist to deal these conditions.

Healing Steps:
1. Changes in Lifestyle
2. Read books
3. Connect with people - Family, friends and relatives. Talk to the people in real world in place of the people from virtual world(internet).
4. Be away from materialistic life.
5. Be grounded to your core values.
6. Live in present - Past is already gone
7. Think about the things which you can control. Stop overthinking.
     Relationship failure - It is already over
8. Start doing exercise, preferably in some class not individually.
9. Your life conditions are result of your own decisions. Be wise and think again for your decisions.
10. Don't judge others, be kind.
11. Learn to forgive, it will lessen your burden.
12. Extend a helping hand to the person in need.





Thursday, 27 February 2020

Anxiety Diaries - 1

Anxiety attack came as a shock to me three years back. I am married, working and have two kids.
Big question arise how I landed in this condition. I myself didn't had answer and my journey started as a anxiety patient for years.

Admitted to hospital twice in emergency due to severe or almost not able to breathe condition.

Deprived of basic necessity as a human being to breathe, what more worst can happen to a person?

But totally unaware what has happened to me, where it will take me. Will I again lead a normal human life?

Initially I was not able to accept the truth. Was in denial state for months but repeated attacks made me accept the reality and  I started searching answer for my queries with psychiatric and people around me.

Doctor advised me to start breathing exercise with medicine. I started meditation and yoga but horribly failed, again got back to medicines. Life was much dependent on medicine, was carrying the medicine where ever i went.

Checked with some people but all in vain, no proper response. At one point I felt I am the first person who has this issue. While reading on net I came through a blog written by a lady with same condition, that was the first soothing or relaxing thing for me in a span for six month.

Whichever method I was trying failed for me but worked for others.

It really takes a lot of effort to accept that you have failed again get up and try without any confirmation that it will work. I always with a ray of hope tried, may be it will work. As months and years were passing, I kept on putting effort. No one to share my struggles and understand.